Did you live with your boy/girlfriend first before marrying them?

He wants to marry me now, but I want to live together a few months before we do the whole "I do" thing.

I'm a Christian, yet I can't imagine marrying my boyfriend without living with him first. When you live with someone twenty four hours a day, seven days a week, you get to see 110% of who they are. What if we got married and I find I can't stand living with him and we end up getting divorced?

I'm torn because my parents always talk badly about people who "shack up" without being married, yet my parents lived together before getting married and my Mom says she's glad she did.

Opinions?

Did you live with your boy/girlfriend first before marrying them?

Ultimately it's your own decision, but if you're truly worried about "shacking up", you can always get a place together that has TWO bedrooms. Each of you get your own rooms...so you'll still be able to see what living with him will be like. Then, if you're okay with that you can always use the other bedroom for a study or guest room. It'll let you test out the waters without making you feel totally guilty for doing it before you're married.

Me personally? I had no problem moving in with my then boyfriend, currently fiance. We'd already spent so much time at each other's apartments that it only seemed natural to get a place together. The only reason we got 2 bedrooms is because we knew we'd need some personal space so we wouldn't drive each other crazy in a smaller domain. The 2nd bedroom was our guest room/ office and was really useful when we had friends visiting. I'll have to agree with your mom, I'm glad we did move in first, because it gave me a better understanding of what to expect and see how we worked together on the bills and just plain washing dishes.

Did you live with your boy/girlfriend first before marrying them?

yes i believe it is important to live with them first do you know what your getting youself into

Did you live with your boy/girlfriend first before marrying them?

NO, I wont and I dont

Did you live with your boy/girlfriend first before marrying them?

It doesnt matter if you do or dont.It takes time to get to know the person your living wih.Then after you get married the still change.

Did you live with your boy/girlfriend first before marrying them?

yes i did .to me its better to like w/ them first so that way u can see how things are.

Did you live with your boy/girlfriend first before marrying them?

absolutely, whether your a man or woman your going to change once u actually live together, go for it.. I'm living with my guy now and i wouldn't have it any other way

Did you live with your boy/girlfriend first before marrying them?

I would say yes live with him

U need the experince to live together.

You'll have the chance to extend ur relationship as well

Learn how to cope with each other

Did you live with your boy/girlfriend first before marrying them?

live with him first! so you can find out what hes like! if you marry him first then you may find out that you do not like him as much as you thought you did. i live with my boyfriend!!

Did you live with your boy/girlfriend first before marrying them?

I think it is a really good idea. I used to be oppossed to it because I was raised Catholic but it just makes sense to live together before you get married that way you can know what they are really like. Plus, it helps to see how they figure out things financially and take care of their home. You are being smart about it.

Did you live with your boy/girlfriend first before marrying them?

I lived with her for about 2 years before we got married it was all cookies and cream before we got married and then we bought a house had kids and reality hit us been seven years that we've been married and living together and marriage is different

Did you live with your boy/girlfriend first before marrying them?

My husband and I lived together for just over a year before we got married we've been together for 15 years Nov. 8th not that it's been easy. But everyone is different do what you feel is best for your relationship and I wish you good luck with your future.

Did you live with your boy/girlfriend first before marrying them?

I don't see it as a problem. I moved in with my boyfriend a few months ago and now we're even more convinced we want to get married. If he really wants to get married then what difference does it make if it's now or in a few months? The important part is you're spending your lives together.

Did you live with your boy/girlfriend first before marrying them?

You really don't know someone until you live under the same roof with them. I lived with mine for 6.5 years before getting married. You can easily love someone but not be able to co habitat, so I do think it is a good idea. Just my opinion.

Did you live with your boy/girlfriend first before marrying them?

yes I think that anyone getting married helps get to know peoples habits and such. If you do not live with them you do not see how they live and do things.

Did you live with your boy/girlfriend first before marrying them?

I agree with you 100%. I lived with my husband for 2 years before we got married...and wouldn't have done it any other way. You learn alot about the person you are about to marry living with them first. I personally think that is the reason why alot of people get divorced because they don't really know if the can truly live with that person forever.

Did you live with your boy/girlfriend first before marrying them?

I have and I will never do it again. I lived and learned. It is against God and it says so in the Bible. You go aganst God he will not bless your relationship. I would talk to your Pastor since you say you are a Christian and he will guide you on the right thing to do. You need to do premarital counseling before marriage. It is very important.

Did you live with your boy/girlfriend first before marrying them?

Yes. I do agree with you, but you have to watch out. You see, they don't say the first year of marriage is hard for nothing. Often times it takes a period of adjustment to live with a new person. Personally, I found it very easy to live with my partner at first, but I can imagine others having troubles with living with someone. It would be a shame to call off the wedding just because you were not adjusting as quickly as you'd like.

As for your parents, forget it. It's your life and your parents are clearly hypocrites and if they feel bad about you making your own choices in life, it's their own fault. Besides, you don't have to tell them you know?

Did you live with your boy/girlfriend first before marrying them?

I was brought up in a Christian background, I did have premarital sex, but choose not to move in before marriage. We dated for about 1 1/2 years before we got married, and I was 20 when we got married, and we are still together almost 13 years later. The first year was ruff, but it's ruff regardless how you do it (living together or married first) I say do what you both feel is right.

You can't please everyone in your life.

And they will change regardless, we all change with age, and guys always change after you say those magical words.....

"I DO"

Did you live with your boy/girlfriend first before marrying them?

I honestly made the decision to wait until we were married before we moved in or got involved. We dated for 3 yrs and have been married for 6 yrs. Marriage is a compromise and if you can't live with him before trying him out should you really be getting married. That is the point that hit home most to me. Good luck oh and pray he will help you get your answer.

Did you live with your boy/girlfriend first before marrying them?

Parents never want their children to "suffer" the same things they went through. It worked for your mom but she probably got more sh*t from it being an older generation and less liberated times. How long have you been "shacked up" with your BF? Usually by the 1st year you'll see a lot of "hidden talents" you don't normally see and if you can live with it, good. But you mentioned being a Christian so you know living together unmarried is basically a sin under the doctrine. Talk to you BF about it if he's also a Christian. If he rejects the idea, I would suggest a temporary separation of homes because you value morals and have some self-respect for pete's sake. How would you feel if your daughter would be placed in the same scenario?

Did you live with your boy/girlfriend first before marrying them?

yes i did live with my hubby before we got married. we aer both 19 but at tha age of 16 and a half we had a baby girl who is now 2 her name is Hailiy. we were friends for 3 years before we dated then we dated for almost 3 years before we got married, we lived together for 5 mos. before we got married. i really do think it is a good idea to live together before you marry someone

GOOD LUCK AND CONGRATS

Did you live with your boy/girlfriend first before marrying them?

my wife and i lived together for two years before we got married. stayed married for 9 months and now we are getting a divorce. so i don't think it really matters how long you live together

Did you live with your boy/girlfriend first before marrying them?

I believe in getting engaged, then moving in together. I definately think you need to live with the person before taking the plundge. You can back out of an engagement, but not marriage. Do not combine finances until after marriage. That is the biggest mistake a lot of couples make. My HB and I lived together for 3 months before marriage and his parents had a cow. We lived 4 hours away from one another before that, but we had been dating for 5 years. They were even uneasy when I would come stay for the weekend to visit. Hello, what do they think he did in college!!!??? No matter what the first couple of years of marriage are HARD! Living together, dating, and marriage are totally different things. I definately believe in a couple dating at least 2 years before getting married.

Did you live with your boy/girlfriend first before marrying them?

You are so right you will see 110% of who they are. I stayed with my boyfriend for 1 month before we got married and I was so unsure. I thought I knew him. Well guess again things that he been doing just became so clear now that I stayed with him. We fuss so much for like the 1st year of out marriage. I wanted a divorce 3 months after but being the christian that I am, I knew I had to work it out. I say live with him for a least 3 months. This is enough time trust me.

Me and my husband or still married. I just had our 1st son and things or going good.

Bless you and your boo boo

Did you live with your boy/girlfriend first before marrying them?

We did not live together until we got married. We dated about 3 years so I didn't feel like there were any surprises when we got married.

I'm glad that I didn't live with him until we got married.

Did you live with your boy/girlfriend first before marrying them?

well you could always be room mates with him.. i mean still be bf and gf..but have seperate rooms..no sex.. that is if your not having it now..if you are than the moving in should not be a big deal..

Did you live with your boy/girlfriend first before marrying them?

If you were a Christian you wouldn't even consider living together. You are not fooling anybody here !

Did you live with your boy/girlfriend first before marrying them?

I have a hard time with this... I used to think that you should live with someone before you marry... for the same reasons you talk about. Then, I did... nothing ever seems to work like it should.

If you love him, and he loves you, for the right reasons then you deserve to be married and do it right instead of "shacking up". I am definitely not trying to insult, but I have just learned from my own mistakes.

Best of luck...

Did you live with your boy/girlfriend first before marrying them?

You have the right idea. You have to know the person your going to marry not after you get married.

Did you live with your boy/girlfriend first before marrying them?

You should live with him. But U can't never say he will stay the same after you are married to him. Also don't pay any attention to your parents opinion. They can talk and think all they want. As long as you are happy doing that doesn't matter.

Did you live with your boy/girlfriend first before marrying them?

I've been on both sides of the fence. Not everybody who gets married stays married and not everybody who shacks up stays together. some people live together and never get married and last a long time. Others live together for a little while and end up parting ways. I believe that if two people truly are in love with each other, and they communicate openly and are as honest as they can possibly be and above all respect one another your relationship is going to weather any and all the storms.

Your mom and dads situation is ancient. Todays people are not like they used to be back then. You can't compare what your mom did to what you want to do. It's easier to walk out of a relationship when you live together then when you get married. In my opinion you tend to try harder in trying to work things out when you are married then when you live together. I tried harder married then I did living together.

If you are a christian then you should trust God and pray about it ask Him for guidance and His blessing in your relationship and if it is His will that you be together then so be it. I'm sure you've already tested the waters by sleeping with him and spending many nights together. If you have, then it's not that much different.

I'm glad my daughter and my son in law just got married instead of living together. They've been married going on 6 yrs next month and it is my observation that they have a pretty good relationship. They were high school sweethearts and they got married 6 months out of high school. I'm not saying it was easy for them in the beginning but they've learned to communicate, respect, trust, and be honest with each other. Nowadays 6 yrs for a young couple is a long time.